“Why do things always have to be fake on the internet?”

I’ve heard this complaint over and over and over again. They say that people aren’t “real” on their facebook/myspace/xanga/blogger/you name it. Here are some of my favorite quotes:

“Welcome to hell…err…facebook”
“Welcome back to our wonderful world of friends and facades”
“You looked better on your myspace picture”

It seem like we are overrun by sparkly profiles, and deluded with gaudy applications. Instead of taking time to find commonalities with friends we figure out which Lord of the Rings character we’re most like. Our entourage 35 deep, our friendship shallow, and our interests, music, and movies section have become applications to a popularity contest.

Why do we behave this way? I believe no other person has summed this problem up better than a good friend of mine:

“I’m here because I have an addiction to attention”

Ahh…yes…our drive to be significant, to be valued, and to be wanted. It can be vicious, but shall we say that drive is a petty thing? Yes this drive does cause us to do ridiculous things as I have mentioned above, but I do not think that is the problem. As a galaxy without a star, or a landscape without a single blade of grass, so to are our lives without significance or value from another being. There is nothing but random sound in a conversation if devoid of relationship. I might even go as far to say that relationships are the very essence of life.

Does the mean we have failed at life? Is so…bummer.

(This next this though is rather abstract but bear with me.)

Maybe it’s because we have lost “ourselves”. It’s the paradoxical thought that “If you lose yourself you’ll find it, and if you grasp or seize yourself you’ll be lost”

In the garden of Eden man and woman reached out so seize the object of godhood. “For then you will be like God, knowing good and evil”. Once they laid their hands on the fruit of their desire, the horrible affect took place immediately. The object laid its hands on tehm, and the “self” (which was innocent, like God at the time) was unselfed. Not fulfilled or filled but emptied. The apple grew into a god, and man shrunk into its slave.

“A man is a slave to whatever he cannot part with, that is less than himself.”
-George McDonald

In a very similar way I think we have tried to find our identity in something less than ourselves through internet socializing websites. We devote ourselves to possessing that object (I.E. attention), and so we are possessed by our possession.

“Well, James, if you hate facebook and myspace so much why don’t you just delete your account?” My friend it is not the internet site that I hate, rather it is the force that has taken hold of us through it. I do not believe the internet is an evil that corrupts our ability to be genuine by turning us into facades, rather I think we have lost ourselves completely because we have tried to grasp selfhood by means of profile views/comments.

So what are we to do with this addiction to attention? Perhaps the answer is on the other side of the paradox…We must lose ourselves to truly be found…now…as to what that looks like I don’t know. I speculate it will look different for every person.

-James

p.s.

This is not a note telling everyone to delete their facebook/myspace account.

I'm not letting go.

Go outside tonight, and look at the stars. Then come back and read this post. (I grantee you’ll enjoy it more that way)

Back now? Ok…now think of this:

Some of the stars you saw tonight are dead. Right now, in space and time, those stars have finished their course, yet when you went out under the sky tonight, you saw their light.

So it is with people we love who have passed away. They have run their course, they have finished and are no longer here…but their light shines on. You see, just like love, starlight never dies.

Hmm…I want to burn out bright.
Friday, April 04, 2008

Whatever happened to constance?

I just watched the movie “Enchanted”. It was funny, cute, endearing at parts, but like most chick flicks out there, it had this common denominator that really ticked me off.

Adultery parading as true love. It seems like that is an intrinsic part of the story for every chick flick I’ve ever seen. Let me lay out the formula

Couple one is somewhat sophisticated, typically city slicker, and are “in love”. Within the first few scenes of the movie the guy proposes to the girl, says she the girl of his dreams, squeals of joy ring out, and they kiss.

Couple two, is not as sophisticated as couple one, they have little more spunk, and are usually hopeless optimists. (You know, the kind that want to change the world) They, like couple one, are “in love” and want to get married but are not yet.

Now, through some chance, or freak of nature, whether it be e-mail, newspaper, magic, radio announcement, ex-boyfriend, serendipity etc. The guy from couple one, and the girl from couple to happen to come in contact…and they hate each other. The other is so different from themselves that they can’t stand to be around each other. So they part ways. Through the next twenty minuets of the film you will see “fate” or some bizarre circumstance bringing them together.

Then it happens…that all inevitable scene where they seem to be arguing, and then have this moment of realization where they don’t want to live there lives without each other…which is not bad at all…EXCEPT FOR THE FACT THAT THEY’RE BETROTHED TO SOMEONE ELSE!

So the man from couple one and the woman from couple two essentially (and sometimes literally) leave their partner at the alter to go pursue this new relationship that has come up. Yet, being the hero and the heroine they can’t straight up walk away, so to cover up their faithlessness, they whine. They whine about why it would be a bad decision for them to marry their first partner, or why they don’t make them happy, but the new person does.

“Oh Richard you don’t want me!”
*after just kissing the new guy* “Oh I wanted it to be you”
“I’m actually not in love with you…I’m in love with your brother”

And it goes on…These rootless characters sway to every whim as long as their happiness is intact. What ever happened to Constance? What ever happened to steadfast? What about unchanging? What about for better or for worse?

“but he completes me”

No, he does NOT complete you, and whoever tells you otherwise is lying. We all have been lied to my friends. We have legitimized treachery in the name of intrigue. We have exchanged love, for temporary thrills. We have been taught that romance comes out of affairs, and that plot twists or synonymous with breakups.

I’m ticked…I’m really ticked.

I realize these are just movies, but the vast majority of their target audience does not. You can tell, by their speech, by their blogs, and by the frivolousness of middle school, high school, and even adult relationships. You can tell by the women’s magazines in the grocery stores. “Ten things to do to feel great in bed”…and not one of them is read your bible. That statement seems amazingly irrelevant, but have you read the bible? There’s a whole book dedicated to just that.

I’m kind of all over the place tonight so I’m going to try and consolidate my thoughts.

I am going to be a one woman man. When I sit my (so far non-existent) child on my knee and tell them about the time I proposed to their (so far elusive) mother…do I want to say “Well, I had to leave a few brides at the alter, but eventually I found one I liked long enough to make it through the ceremony” or “Well, she was the best choice.”…No… “Your Mother was the only choice.”

The only choice…That is true love. Of this I am convinced.

-James

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Hey lil’ bro.

So it hit me today…In many social circles it is common for friends to ignore their friend’s siblings…particularly the younger ones. Not that I’ve never noticed this before, but it was something I was pondering about today.

I’ve heard it said that the opposite of love is not hate, but indifference. So in a friendship, I would think there would be many opportunities for friend A to interact with friend B’s siblings. Yet how often do we pay little or no attention to them? It’s not always because we hate the little fellas, it’s just we’re not interested in them. It is nothing less than laziness.

Yet I think about you…most of you, my friends…and I see you love my little brother. For those of you who don’t know, his name is Christopher Legg, and he’s pretty much the bomb…no…he IS the bomb. He’s right in that lanky phase of his life where his body is growing so fast he’s not sure what to do with all of it. He likes punk rock, rap, and energetic music (as is to be expected from a young man of his age) His foot is now a good inch and a half longer than mine, and he will probably soon out grow me in height. He’s kind, he’s so very affectionate to my mother and sister, and loves on them daily. He’s beginning to learn how to articulate how/what he feels, and is embellishing his own personality. This really is a blossoming time in his life.

Woah…I actually didn’t mean to go on that tangent about Christopher, but it just sort of bubbled out. Can you tell that I take pleasure in bragging about him? Anyways, when I think about you, many of my friends…I just wanted to thank you for loving him. You realize what is precious to me and then in turn make it precious to you.

So first, let it be known that my little brother is magnificent.Second, to all my friends who invest time and take a genuine interest in my awesome little brother, thank you. Thank you very much.

-James

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Profile of a gentleman.

The following is an excerpt of an e-mail I wrote awhile ago in response to someone talking to me about being a gentleman. I thought I’d post some of my thoughts and ask you for yours.
Thanks.

I do not believe chivalry is dead. It is quite uncommon, and maybe it's even having convulsions of death, but it is still not dead.

You said: "There are nice guys in the world, like you, who are just by nature nice people and because of that, some people could see that as potential interest- not your fault."
I agree with this.

You said: "Bigger issue with that, is that because people like you are so nice, that when you actually are interested, there's not much change because you treat pretty much everyone the same way with the same gentility and all that jazz."
Now this part...not so much...let me try and explain...no, is too much let me sum up:

I do not think that by being a gentlemen, it reduces your range of affection. Rather I think it brings the entire scope of social consideration up a notch. Let me first look at what (I think) SOME of the characteristics of a gentle man are. I emphasize “some” because I believe being a true gentleman is a mark of excellence that overflows into all areas of life, however we are only considering the social interactions with opposite genders. For some reason whenever I think of being a "gentleman" I automatically think of opening doors for ladies. I don't know why that trait is thought of more than others, but it is. This act I believe is a good example of the deeper resolve in a gentleman...Respect for the lady. (When I say "the lady", I mean each and every feminine human that the gentleman comes in contact with.)

I think the courteous act of opening a door, or walking out to the car comes from (or at least I think should) the general conviction that every lady has value. You can even trace this back to a more universal Christian belief that all humans are created in the "Imago Deo" (the image of God) and for that reason alone have worth and value. Yet as a gentleman I want to take that conviction to the next step and not only acknowledge there is value to the individual lady, but if the social dynamics allow it, to find the unique characteristic that gives them that value. Now, obviously you can't do that with every single individual you meet! It would drive you crazy and soon all the individuals become one mass of collected social objects again. Which is why (I think) the act of opening the door was invented. For me it is the quick and simple way of saying "I may or may not have time to give you my attention, but know that this act of chivalry is an attempt to tell you that I recognize, and know that you have value, and deserved to be treated as such." Or something like that...I hope that this is the ordinary act and behavior of a gentleman.

Now to address the problem distinguishing the difference between gentlemanly behavior and actions of affection... See, I think that being a gentleman doesn't level out the amount of affection he gives to a lady in general (significant or not). I think it raises the standard. Obviously I don't think like I woman, but I suppose that if the extent of my significant other's acts of affection toward me were opening doors and letting me go first in line, I would be greatly disheartened. Not to say that there is no room for chivalry in love...No, but it does (I think) take on a completely different form:

"Chivalry in love has nothing to do with appearance. It has everything to do with the tenderness of a heart determined to serve. That is the first hard lesson to learn. You do not act under the impetus of charm but out of a commitment to make someone's life the joy you want it to be. In the early days of marriage, joy precedes the act. But this kind of care does not come easily. Only if it is taken seriously does it become a sheer delight of the heart. The reason we have a crisis in our gender relationships is not that we are culturally indoctrinated but that we would rather be served than serve. We would rather be the head than the feet. The Christian faith stands unique in pointing out that the Son of Man came to seek and to save that which was lost. The Son of Man came to serve. This means that the service He gave to humanity was when we least merited that sacrifice. There is a joy in service that transcends emotional temporariness." -Ravi Zacharias

So, I guess I do believe there is a line between leading on, and chivalry. I just think it's exceedingly hard to find sometimes. I still strive to look for it though. I’ve heard it said, and do agree completely with the statement: "It will always depend on how the other person perceives it" That is definitely true. Their view of the action can be completely distorted, and in their mind, create it to be something it is not. Yet, I don't think that means there is no line. There is the truth of the action, and someone’s perceived truth of the action...I try to find the truth of the righteous and pure action.
-James

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

What I "do"

So I haven’t updated in quite awhile. I’ve made it a goal to write something to post here WITHOUT lyrics…or keep it to a minimum.
Being a senior, this year I have had many different people ask me what “I’m going to do” or “what college” I would attended. This past Saturday I attended a family reunion in which these questions seem to be repeatedly asked throughout the evening. This being the end of my first semester as a senior, I was ready with a quick concentrated speech that outlined my life for the next couple years or so. I have been given many a chance to deliver said speech this year, so it was very easy for the words to role off my mouth over and over again at the reunion.
Here, let me give it a try again:
“Well, I plan on going into film. I’ve always liked to tell stories, and the medium of film is something that I enjoy as well as something I seem to be good at. As far as colleges go, I’m not so sure I want to attend one. If I were it would probably be Regent University. It is a graduate school, but I’ve heard they just recently opened up their film department up to undergrad students. However I know that without divine intervention, I won’t be going this year. In the meantime I’d like to work at a production studio around here. The movie We Are Marshall was filmed in a production studio based here in Atlanta. I’ve looked into that as well as various other studios in my area. I’ve also looked into other…”
So forth and so on. If you really want to know the rest of the speech I might ramble the rest of to you some other time.
While all of that is true, and genuinely are some of my plans…I can’t help but be dissatisfied with that answer. While this may or may not become my occupation in the near future, it isn’t what I want to “do”.
I wish to stir souls. (look out, here come the lyrics)
Don't close your eyes, I'm right beside youDon't be afraid, I'm never farYou and I were always meant toWake the dreamers from the darkCome out, come out wherever you are
Let me share with you sort of an epiphany I had and then I’ll be done.
It was a fairly lazy summer day…maybe two years ago. I was watching the extended version of Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers with the live documentary on. (Yes, I’m a geek…it’ll be ok) The actors narrated through the movie, told stories about certain days of shooting, laughed, and just chatted about general behind the scenes stuff. Eventually one of my favorite scenes of the movie came. Aragorn and King Théoden have lost helms deep, and are on the brink of death, the sunrise comes, we hear the words of Gandalf from earlier in the movie “Look to my coming on the 5th day, at dawn, look to the east” Aragorn looks to the east to the sunrise creeping over the horizon with the silhouette of Gandalf with the rohirrim. The sun dispels the darkness of helms deep as Gandalf descends into the pit of blackness to do business.
End of scene.
At this point the once chatty actors who had been narrating the movie fell silent. Finally one broke the silence and the conversation went something like this:
“Oh, this is powerful”
“with the light and everything…”
“So good”
“It’s like…religion!”
“Yeah, just…all the symbolism and stuff”
“Well religion is mix of other religions…and I just see all that in this”
“Yeah, because religion is light and stuff”
“Yeah, and it’s good…it’s so true…the mixing of the dark and the light and the mixing of religion…it’s true!”
At this point my heart sank. Something on that screen stirred inside each one of those actors something deep. Something that resonated with them. It was good to them, it was beautiful to them. Then knew something about it was right, but they missed it. They thought it was religion, or the mixing of it. But I can’t help but think that whatever was portrayed on that screen was something far better than mere religion. It is echoes of another world that resonate within us. It is the substance from which we were intrinsically made up of, and that which we long to return to.
What do I want to “do”?
I Wish deep to call out to deep. I wish to go to the everyday man and draw out the eternity written on his heart. I wish when people ask for God to give them more than Church. I wish to sound the trumpet and awaken the sleeping souls. I wish to be good and faithful servant.
"An eclipse doesn't destroy anything, it just covers it up. We live in a culture that has eclipsed the face of God, and it's my job to uncover it."
“If the Good News we preach is hidden behind a veil, it is hidden only from people who are perishing. Satan, who is the god of this world, has blinded the minds of those who don't believe. They are unable to see the glorious light of the Good News. They don't understand this message about the glory of Christ, who is the exact likeness of God.
You see, we don't go around preaching about ourselves. We preach that Jesus Christ is Lord, and we ourselves are your servants for Jesus' sake.
For God, who said, "Let there be light in the darkness," has made this light shine in our hearts so we could know the glory of God that is seen in the face of Jesus Christ.
We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves”
-2 Corinthians 4:3-7
-James
Monday, December 17, 2007

Therefore I run thus: not with uncertainty. Thus I fight: not as one who beats the air.

It is very late, but every once in awhile my mind becomes so full of thoughts, that it is quite necessary for me to do my best in putting them down in words for my own sake…That while I may have a thought in my head, the writing is an exercise to see if I can complete that thought with a point, and write to a purpose.

Tonight I decided to explore battles, war, fighting and such. My thoughts took me to the battle of Normandy, and thus I decided to google it. (yay google) When researching, I found two interesting stories, by which I would to like underscore with a potential lesion.

The first was this story:When the forces came to the beach they were told it was imperative that they keep moving, despite the intensity of the barrage. The worst thing they could do was to stand still. "Don't just stay there and hug the ground. Keep moving even under a rain of bullets or there will be left only two kinds of people. The dead and the about to be dead."
What a lesson that is for a time when the Gospel is under attack. We must keep moving. Questions abound, mockery reigns, culture is filled with confusion. There is a cloud of cynicism hanging over us. We dare not stand back and hug the ground. We dare not sit back and become immobilized. We must move forward.

The second:One of the tactics the allies used when they descended onto the French countryside was lifelike rubber dummies that were attached to parachutes. Hundreds of these fake solders were dropped to draw German fire. Many spent precious ammunition on these descending solders, not knowing that they were shooting at rubber dummies.I wonder when we stand before God, whether the most embarrassing moment may be when we see how much of our time is wasted shooting at rubber dummies, how much energy we expended on distracting issues, while the real plunder was taking place elsewhere.

And two last thoughts…sort of attached, but still rather random.

Thought one: Hope is to be inseparable from death. May we never forget the heart of the Gospel, which is the cross of Jesus Christ. Indeed, in all of our hope, let us not forget the death. The death on the Cross.

Thought two: Struggle is inseparable from triumph. Yes, these are hard days. And in reality, this is nothing new. Therefore, I also believe that somehow in the midst of all of this, God is still going to help us to look to the glorious possibilities.He has placed me here. He is giving an audience that will make a world of a difference some day…or so I pray…

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Needy I am

So on this Sunday morning I was thinking about Church and my reaction to it. I have discovered I am a very needy person. When you haven’t been exactly walking the straight and narrow, and you come in to Church you…(or at least I) am a very needy person. I need for the greeters and the door to be warm and genuine. I need the music to be some of my favorite song, and be played well. I need my friends to find me and be interested in me. I need the message to be thought provoking, and the speaker to be engaging. I need him to crack jokes every now and the to keep my attention…The fact is I haven’t come in empty. I’ve come to church full…bloated even. So full that even though what is being offered to me is incomparable, I’m so darn full of myself and my troubles that there isn’t room for anything else. I need to be emptied.

Sunday, April 22, 2007\

Every body needs a journal if for no other reason than to record God’s grace and sovereignty.

I’m not a huge journaler or anything. In fact, I can go months without writing a thing, but then write three times a day. I was pouring over all my old entries tonight, and between all the scribbles, smile faces, and doodles I find the recorded recesses of my mind from this past year…man…how fickle people can be. Especially me. But that just makes me praise God all the more for staying true!

They say hind sight is 20/20, and I’m going to have to say I agree. As we watch, talk with, and grow with people, I believe we can better see their growth and progression because we have an outside view. If you put a quarter up to your eye, it envelopes you perspective on everything around you. A perspective of a person standing next to you is sometimes better than your own. At times a journal can provide this second perspective.

When we face hardships of all kinds in this world, and we are bogged down in the middle of them it’s next to impossible to realize that the all encompassing quarter in front of our eye is simply a small coin being held in the hand of our maker. As I reflect upon this past year, my journal has told me that this has probably been the hardest I’ve faced so far. All the way from sickness, to falling behind in school, to taking up new responsibilities, to failing at responsibilities, or just plain despair, it’s been tough. But you know what other secrete the journal has revealed? It has recorded a skyrocketing growth. Throughout this year I’ve felt both SO far away from God, and closer than ever before. He’s let me wander, a stray lamb in the wilderness, so he can demonstrate is unfailing love, and kindness and bring be back home.

Luke 15: 8-10 “Or what woman, if she has ten silver coins and loses one coin, does not light a lamp and sweep the house and search carefully until she finds it? "When she has found it, she calls together her friends and neighbors, saying, 'Rejoice with me, for I have found the coin which I had lost!' "In the same way, I tell you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents."

You know my favorite line in that verse? "In the same way, I tell you, there is joy IN the PRESENCE of the angels of God over one sinner who repents."
It’s not saying the angels are joyful…it’s saying Abba himself is there, dancing over when we come back to him. And you know what else is amazing about that passage? That word joy can be translated into dancing!
Amazing.

Well…My journal told me that there was definitely some dancing going on in heaven this year. As I flipped through the old but vaguely familiar pages, the journal unlocked more secrets about my life this year, that had been forgotten.

Around the end of the summer I was struggling with faith and if their was any substance to it. Like I said before, hind sight is 20/20. My journal told me when the seed of doubt was first planted into my brain, and how soon after a weed of uncertainty consumed my thoughts. Soon following that came secretes of revelation, redemption, and rescue.

I know we’ve got a way to go on the advent calendar before reaching Epiphany, but as we approach it God as “made know” a few things to me through this reading of my journal:
God is super colossal. Our greatest strength doesn’t come close to his weakest. Go outside and look at the stars.

God has been where we walk. All throughout the bible God shows us he’s already been where we go. If you read Joshua, a couple days before they walk around Jericho, Joshua sees an “Angel” The bible tells us that the angel was coming from Jericho.

God will test us, but God is faithful. Sometimes when the storm is at its peak Jesus has been known to go to sleep in the boat, but you know what? I think it’d be interesting to see if we interviewed every single one of those men who were in the boat when Jesus slept, and see how unshakeable their faith is now.

God will lead us on.

And this is where the journal’s pages go blank. Empty life to be filled, wonders yet to be know, and our wildest imaginations to be exceeded…Lord I come, with great expectations…
Hallelujah, Amen.
-James

Saturday, December 09, 2006