When attempting to say a few meaningful words to your brother on his wedding day, it’s hard to find the right stories, the right sentiments, because there are so many. mostly good. Right? Mostly good ones. ;-)
Mostly good ones like one morning I was supposed to give Christopher a ride to Artios, and it should not surprise most of you to know that I was running a bit late, and Christopher was downstairs, ready. But what might surprise you, was that to kill time, he had chosen to dance to music stylings GS boyz “Do the Stanky Legg". I think he might of had a test or something that day and was amping up?
Another story I love to embarrass Christopher with was a particular occasion where he was approached by two young Asain ladies at a stop light. One of them yell’s over to Christopher “hey, my friend thinks you're cute, (fair) and just got out of a relationship and needs a friend.” Christopher sensibly responded “No, I'm good.” to which she said “What, you got something against Asians?” Then Christopher, struck by a moment of brilliant eloquence blurts out “I love all raisins.”
I’ll let you all decide if that’s one of the good or bad memories. But for me, as I reflected last night, there was one touchstone memory that highlighted Christopher’s character and growth in recent years.
On April of 2008 I wrote in what served as my journal, a sentence or two about Christopher: He’s right in that lanky phase of his life where his body is growing so fast he’s not sure what to do with all of it. He likes punk rock, rap, and energetic music (as is to be expected from a young man of his age) His foot is now a good inch and a half longer than mine, and he will probably soon out grow me in height. He’s kind, he’s so very affectionate to my mother and sister, and loves on them daily. He’s beginning to learn how to articulate what he feels, and is embellishing his own personality. This really is a blossoming time in his life.
And in this brief picture of a 13 year old Christopher, I would like to highlight three aspects of his personality and life that have developed over the last eight years.
- “He’s in a lanky phase of his life where he has more than he knows what to do with.” Christopher, early in your life you were given some uncommon challenges. Be it switching the structure of your education halfway through to losing dad at 15. Then add on the normal life change of going to college and starting your dating life, and looking to choose a career, it became overwhelming pretty quick. But what I am proud of, and admire, is you approached each of these situations with unflinching determination, and bravery. When I think of who you were at 13, I see a young man full of potential. The thing about potential is that, unattended, it can lead to disaster, and disappointment. But you have shepherded your talents, your character, and your life well and have become an admirable man.
- “He’s so very kind and affectionate”. There are few things Christopher cares more about than the people close to him, and his relationship to them. A simple trip to the grocery store with a loved one can make him happy and feel closer to them. He’s incredibly sensitive by nature, he cares deeply about the feelings and thoughts of others. He doesn’t demand attention but often attracts it through his put-together attitude, stability and grace.
- “He’s beginning to learn how to articulate what he feels and is embellishing his own personality”. At major crossroads of his life, somewhat serendipitously, Chris and I have taken walks through snow, up mountains, and in the woods to talk through decisions, feelings. Sometimes mostly feelings. These are some of my more cherished times with Chris. And each time we’ve done it, there has been a noticeable maturation of thought, and individuality in him. I think it’s somewhat of a common sentiment among older siblings that as they grow up they regret not being a better brother, or better sister when they were young. And though that is true here, what I do not regret, but rather consider a great honor, is getting a front row seat to watching you develop into a kind, diligent, brave, honorable man. A man who’s delight is in the Lord, and the people God as put in his life. So thank you.
Lastly, Jessie. When you and Christopher were younger, more raw, unsanctified versions of yourselves, it was not love at first site, and it may not have been love at third or fourth. If I were to make a romantic comedy about your lives I would title it: Love…eventually.
But let me be the first to say how glad I am that eventually became definitely. For those of you who close to Jessie, know this to be true, and for those of you who don’t, just take a look at her instagram account, Jessie celebrates people well. And I don’t mean that in a trivial way. I mean that in a significant life giving way. We cultivate what we celebrate and Jessie has cultivated a rich culture of blessing and affection. And I’ve seen that change Christopher. When people asked me how I felt about the two of you dating my go to response was “She’s good for him.” and I really mean it. So thank you for bringing joy, levity, and healing to my brother.
So if you will raise your glass with me, to Christopher and Jessie, may they be blessed as much as they are a blessing to us.
-James
