We cultivate what we celebrate.

Christmas 09 was a little different for my family. For a variety of reasons we decided to have our family Christmas one day late. This is actually not uncommon in the Legg household. We did the same thing with Thanksgiving this year and Christmas last year. We don't care so much about the date, just as long as the family is together.

As some of you may know My Grandmother past away this past Saturday (26th). There are many details to the story that I could go into, but I think it sufficient to say that the day did not turn out as we had expected. Since then, many different people in various ways have commented about the timing of her passing (being so close to Christmas). These are my thoughts on the matter:

Yes, the timing was inconvenient, but a loved one's passing always is. For me, it has actually not ruined Christmas in the slightest. Do not get me wrong, it is NOT because I didn't love my Grandmother. She lived in our house for all of my childhood and much of my high school years. I have many precious memories of her. I AM grieving the loss. The reason why Christmas has not been affected is because of what I celebrate at Christmas.

If I celebrate comfort at Christmastime then Christmas is ruined because life is been incredibly hectic the past few days.
If I celebrate gifts at Christmastime then Christmas is ruined because the gift of a loved one was snatched away Christmas day.
If I celebrate the family coming together at Christmastime then Christmas is ruined because my family is now one member less.

Yet if I celebrate God becoming a man to save a broken world and give us eternal life with Him, then Christmas is NOT ruined because the reality of the gospel is STILL TRUE! If anything the death in the family fuels the intensity with which I celebrate Christmas. Weeping, yes, but still thankful for a God that is WITH us in our time of trouble. Thankful for a God that saved my grandmother, who gave His spirit to my grandmother, who comforted my grandmother, and has now brought my grandmother home. All of which would have been IMPOSSIBLE had Jesus not come as a man and died on a cross! Without Christmas there would be no hope for my grandmother, but because of Christmas we have hope, joy, love, salvation, eternal security! Grieving...yes, but not grieving as those who do not have hope.

So you see Christmas is not ruined because we don't celebrate gifts, rest, or family. We celebrate Jesus...and Jesus was, is, and always will be...here with us...Emmanuel.

-James

Father

I made the terrible discovery that most men make about their fathers sooner or later...that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself, a boy who grew up and had a child of his own and, as best he could, out of a sense of duty and love, adopted a role called being a father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a protector who would keep a lid on all the chaotic and catastrophic possibilities of life. A champion. -Tom Wolfe


Needless to say...I love my father.

-James

"...His divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us by glory and virtue, by which have been given to us exceedingly great and precious promises, that through these you ma...y be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the depravity that is in the world through lust."

-James

So I'm reading Romans and "When I don't desire God" by John Piper because...well basically, I don't.

-James

What God used to do.

I love my pastor. I don't know him on a personal level, but his teaching, faithfulness to the scriptures, and passion for all people of the earth has greatly impacted me in very personal ways.

In one of his sermons he said something that has stuck with me. God never intended the Church to be a museum. A place where we gather and only talk about what God USED to do.
Now, my pastor rightly understands that we DO need to remember God's works, and not forget his everlasting love for us. The scriptures teach us to remember what God USED to do. I also believe they teach us to seek what God is DOING today.

Habakkuk 3:1-2
A prayer of Habakkuk the prophet. On shigionoth.

LORD, I have heard of your fame;
I stand in awe of your deeds, O LORD.
Renew them in our day,
in our time make them known;
in wrath remember mercy.

At the beginning of this summer I sat down in a burger king with a good friend of mine who I hadn't talked to in awhile. All I simply asked him was "So what have you been up to?". His story is amazing. I found myself frustrated when he finished because it ended so abruptly. It's like watching a movie and stopping it half way through. It is undoubtedly NOT over yet.

We all have a story. Today I thought of my parents stories. How they became Christians. My parents are walking miracles.
I thought of my brothers and sisters. I have been privileged to experience much of their stories first hand.
I thought about me...and I trembled. I trembled because I thought of who I might I have been had Christ never saved me. I am a trophy of grace. Not that I stand behind some glass case, shiny and polished. Rather, when God saved me, he saved me so I could be an example to other people that God's grace can reach into the depths of the most wretched of hearts.

In light of all this, here's what I what I want to think about right now. What does God have planned for me today? I've got a story, I know when I was saved, I think it's pretty cool, maybe I'll tell it to you sometime, but...today...today...I want to be about what God is doing today. God hasn't saved us so we can piddle around in our comfortable pools of grace and salvation, while the rest of the world is cracked and dry on broken knees. Having this treasure of Jesus, and not sharing it makes about as much sense as keeping a way of escape secret during a holocaust.

The infinite possibilities each day holds should stagger the mind. The sheer number of experiences one could have is uncountable, breathtaking, and and yet many people spend their spare time refreshing their inbox. We live trapped in loops. Reliving a few days over and over, and we envision only a handful of paths laid out ahead of us. We see the same things each day we respond the same way, we think the same thoughts, each day a slight variation on the last, every moment smoothly following the gentle curves of societal norms. We act like if we just get through today, tomorrow our dreams will come back to us.

"Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that all was vanity; but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes, and make it possible." -T. E. Lawrence

-James

-Lord, sovereign God. Creator and Ruler, Mighty and Humble, Jealous and Forgiving...Savior. You are our God. Lord Jesus you have told us "that no one can come to me unless it is granted him by the Father". Lord you alone are the giver of eternal life, and no one will snatch that gift away from us. The Father has given us to You and no one will take us from Your hands. Lord Your Word says that faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the Words of Jesus. Furthermore you tell us that Jesus is the Word of God made flesh. Lord you have given us Your Words of life, and Your Spirit as our main tools for sharing the gospel. It is not our words, NOT our eloquence, NOT our persuasiveness, NOT our charisma, that change peoples hearts, but YOU ALONE. You alone are God, and you alone are Savior. Salvation is Yours, and You have given it freely to us. Lord You have told us that YOU KNOW who you have chosen. From the beginning of time You know who's names have been written in the book of life, but we also see Lord that our prayers and requests can move your heart to save. Not Lord that we control you, but simply Lord that "we have not because we ask not". Great omnipotent God, my mind cannot understand this, but you Lord have told me that it is true. So in faith Father, I pray You rescue. I pray You bring us to life Lord. Lord apart from You we cannot do anything. It is in YOU ALONE that we place our trust for salvation. Lord I pray we will speak Your words, and by hearing Your words, faith will be awakened in others. Lord if there are doubts in their minds, I pray you remove them. If there is fear, I pray you love them, because perfect love casts out fear. Lord if there is shame in their lives, I pray you love them because love covers a multitude of sins. If there is cynicism I pray your truth would pierce to the marrow. In all things Lord, we give thanks. For You are God, and You have saved us.

Lord I thank you that you have given us compassion, give us wisdom.
Lord I thank you that we have motivation, give us proclamation

It is by Your hope that we will be the hope among the hopeless,
It is by your shalom that where there is conflict, we will be peace
only by the power of Your Spirit living in us.

Hosanna, God save!

It is through Jesus Christ's blood that we are healed, and that you hear us, Father. It is in HIS name we pray, and put ALL trust in.

Amen-

John 6: 63-65
John 10:28-29
Romans 10:14-17
John 1
Matthew 15:21-28
James 4:2
1 John 4:18
1 Peter 4:8

-James

Suffering.

I was in high school once...I was also in middle school. I was also a child once, but that's not really where I'm going with this post. Where was I? Right, high school.

I listened to a LOT of music in high school. I still listen to music now, but not as much as I used to. I think part of it has to do with the raving hormones that come with high school, and part of it has to do with the discovery that there is exciting and real emotion outside of music.

There are some song lyrics that don't make sense. I'm not talking about nonsense lyrics such as some of The Beatles' pot inspired verses. I'm talking about songs that seem like they could make sense, but when you read and try to comprehend the spirit of the message, if feels like you're hitting a roof. It's as if the scope of your existence cannot muster the prowess to comprehend the message. For me one such song was "So I Thought" by Flyleaf.

I don't recall where I was when I first head the song, but I knew exactly how I felt. When I first heard the intro to that song, it felt like someone had composed a melody or a theme to my life. I was unmistakably sure I had never heard the melody line, but equally confident I had been hearing it my whole life. It TOTALLY captured me. Then I took a look at the lyrics and it TOTALLY confused me. I took large amounts of time to try and understand it. I struggled then (and do so now) with pride, so asking somebody the meaning of the song was totally out of the question. I kept the song with me, and listened to it often. I KNEW I loved the musical or inexpressible side of it, but could only wonder if I would ever understand the text of what the artist was talking about.

I remember being in a coffee shop one, maybe two years later. I was talking with my friends. In our discussion the song came up, and I replayed the lyrics in my head. I had listened to the song often enough that I had memorized the lyric to the song, but was perpetually dumbfounded. Then, upon recalling the lyrics to my head...it all made sense. Perfect sense in fact. The lyric was not only sensible, but was in fact, genius. It described every avenue, every emotion, and every truth of what I had gone through the past year or so with breathtaking accuracy.

My life was essentially the same life I was living when I first heard the song except for one thing. I had suffered that year. In one year, I had come close to dying on more than one occasion, my grandmother was hospitalized, a close friend of mine relapsed, and my mom was diagnosed with cancer. The song almost served as a prophecy and predicted how painful life would be, yet so incredibly beautiful. I could not previously comprehend it because I had not walked a path of suffering. A year later, I had, and I found it to make perfect sense.

What if life is like this? What if someone wrote a song, and you heard it, and it was beautiful to you. What if you were sure you had never heard it before, but were equally sure you knew it had been with you your entire life? What if it didn't make sense at first?

I do not know how to wrap this up. I was supposed to sit down and read books, but I started typing instead.

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I think we all suffer, and I have identified two products of suffering.

1. Hardness. I think of people in my life, who suffer and focus inward on themselves. They become hard. They think about their pain, their sorrow, and become bent on their self pity. I think of Pharaoh in Exodus. Pharaoh who, with his nation, suffered greatly, but hardened his heart against God's repeated offerings of grace.

2. Clarity . I think of people who have suffered and now posses a...deeper outlook on life. There is this firm understanding they seem to have. I think of my own life. I consider myself to have suffered little, and so have gained little clarity. Yet, what little clarity I have gained, it has had profound impacts on my life.

Paul the Apostle said this: "Through many tribulations we must enter the kingdom of God."

I don't know why this must be. It seems to me however...other than Jesus Christ, there is nothing like pain that brings us closer to the Father, and flowers compassion in our hearts.

-James